I think ive come to that depressed stage again. I sure as hell dont show it on the outside, but on the inside i feel lonely as hell. Thank God for homework because it keeps me busy but more importantly it keeps my MIND busy. Atleast i hope it will. I feel so lonely, and im surrounded by dozens of people. I have my family, my brothers, AND i have alot of friends. But i feel lonely. Jessica is missing. But i cant be with her and concentrate on school. I cant its impossible. And this year is so critical!!! If i fail this semester, im done at NIU. For good. I want Jessica so bad but she is a distraction, i would be paranoid about where she is and what she is doing and if she is talking to somebody or not. If she's cheating on me or not. Its hell. Its a hell that i dont want to go back to. But i miss her so much. And it saddens me. It depresses me.
118 Somebody shoot me
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